But, I can see the jail, RIGHT THERE, Chad!
Hi! I’m Daniel Wagner from the Patriot Punk Network, giving you the latest Tennessee news in 3 minutes or less.
This is our Today in Tennessee Segment brought to you by Estate of Creative
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Round 1
TBI and the 23rd Judicial District Drug Task Force, Along with local Drug Enforcement Agencies just pulled off one of the biggest busts in Tennessee history.
On May 15th, agents searched a semi-truck and trailer with Texas plates in Dickson County and found over 1,500 pounds of (math and pets, i mean) hidden inside—packaged and disguised to look like Alfalfa pellets.
The shipment was headed from Mexico to Tennessee.
All face conspiracy to distribute (math and pets, I mean) over 300 grams, with bonds set at $250,000 each.
The investigation also turned up a brand-new, functional crystal math conversion lab in Nashville, plus eight more pounds of crystal math and two firearms.
So to recap: 1,500 pounds of math disguised as horse feed, a mobile math lab, and enough product to supply half the Southeast.
So next time someone tries to sell you organic Alfalfa pellets out of a semi-truck, maybe ask a few questions.
Round 2
Lebanon Police had a productive Tuesday busting a drug operation so close to the jail, the suspects could've walked themselves in.
The Special Operations Division arrested three people with active warrants at a residence on Hazelwood Pike—located across the street from a church and less than a quarter-mile from the Wilson County Jail.
Talk about convenient.
But the real highlight?
When officers executed the search warrant, they found the house in such severely deteriorated condition that the Codes Division had to respond and immediately condemn it.
So we got a successful drug bust across from a church, a quarter-mile from jail, and a house so trashed the city had to red-tag it on the spot.
At least the suspects won't have far to go for their court dates—they can practically see the jail from the front porch.
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Round 3
51-year-old Kippy Lee Lynch from Bryson City, North Carolina just learned that leaving evidence at a crime scene is bad—but leaving evidence with your name on it is worse.
After a three-day jury trial in Sumner County, Lynch was convicted of a whole slew of crimes and now he's facing up to 27 years in prison.
Here's what happened: On January 13, 2023, Lynch and his co-defendant got high on booger sugar, broke into a home in the Island Brook subdivision of Hendersonville while the owner was asleep, and filled several backpacks with valuables—including a handgun from the victim's vehicle.
As they tried to escape on foot back to their car, parked outside the subdivision to avoid detection, they dropped several items.
One of those items?
A backpack full of stolen property and a Bible inscribed with Lynch's name.
Because nothing says "spiritual journey" like breaking and entering while tweaked out on blow.
Lynch was arrested later that morning by Sumner County Sheriff's deputies, sitting behind the wheel of a vehicle on New Shackle Island Road, under the influence of multiple substances.
Pro tip: if you're going to commit crimes while high, maybe leave the personalized religious texts at home.
That was your Tennessee news roundup.
For more deep dives into local stories, watch the Patriot Punkcast on Rumble every Sunday and Wednesday at 7pm CST. Thanks for checking out our TITS — see you Monday!
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