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Round 1
A man in Manchester has given new meaning to the phrase "What a wanker"
Friday afternoon THIS individual decided to browse the toy selection at the Intimacy Boutique in Manchester.
A few minutes in something caught his eye. The Fuck O Matic PRO XL
Its got suction, it vibrates, and it even cups the boys while in use. It's basically a Robot that turns tricks.
But, just like real thing, toys can be expensive and this guy wasnt about to have you drain all his income,
So he did what any frugal shopper would do—took a free sample
While the worker was busy with a customer, he snatched the demo off the shelf and took it to the back
Now I'm guessing that he either didnt have enough coins in his goblin purse, or maybe the Pro XL was just a little too big.
Either way after giving the product an in-depth review, he walked out, put it back on the shelf and just continued browsing.
According to the store, the man left a few of his future children behind and didnt bother to rinse anything off when he was finished.
Manchester Police are currently looking for the suspect, but it's a sticky situation. So if you see him first, whatever you do, dont shake his hand.
Round 2
Saturday morning Henderson County Sheriff's and the Jackson Bomb squad were dispatched to Natchez Trace State Park after SOMEONE found an IED.
No, not an IUD, that's birth control. An IED is an improvised explosive device, basically a homemade bomb.
It was discovered just north of the Wagner camp not far off the side of the road, and so far it's been the only one found
Despite not going KABLEWY, the town is still a little shaken up and demanding answers.
K9s have searched the area as well as police, but Natchez Trace is a big place.
Some people were worried it could have been a test run for the Trump rally in Corinth, while others suggest it could have been a booby trap for something illegal nearby.
The Sheriff is being very tight lipped and With no further clues as to who placed it, they are asking the public to remain vigilant and report anything out of the ordinary.
That's 2 stories down, 1 to go, and I want to hear your craziest retail experience! Drop it in the comments while you listen to the next story!
Round 3
There was a full moon in Kingsport and now police need your help tracking down the young man that's been going around town showing his ass.
No, he's not starting fights or catcalling women, he's just breaking into cars
KPD shared this video showing a man who has turned his shirt into a makeshift face cover to shield his identity.
But, pulling his shirt that high up left something else plainly visible—his rear end.
At first, I had to do a double take because in black and white it was really hard to tell if he was wearing any drawers,
Fortunately, upon closer inspection he is. His boxers just have a couple of dark stripes on them like suspenders.
Several commenters say they recognized the man, though I'm not sure what part looked familiar.
As of this recording, he hadn't been located yet. So, if you live near Kingsport area, lock your doors
either that or maybe leave a belt out as bait and see if you can catch a crook!
That's your Tennessee news in less than 3 minutes, for deep dives on local issues watch the Patriot Punkcast on Rumble every Sunday and Wednesday at 7pm
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